“WHAT are you?” demanded Miriam Margolyes, peering at Andi Peters as if he were a rarified exhibition piece in a museum.
“You’re a mix: You’ve got a black daddy and a white mummy?”, she continued, unabashed, as producers at This Morning spiralled from the gallery.
10
10
And then the racist piece de resistance. “I think you’re high yalla . . . that’s what they call it in America, when someone isn’t deeply black.”
For anyone unfamiliar, “high yalla” was commonplace in the 19th century Deep South to describe a lighter-skinned black person.
It basically went out with the “n” word and “pickaninny”. Unless, that is, you’re Miriam Margolyes.
Poor Andi, visibly shocked at being probed about his racial heritage in 2026, deserves an NTA for remaining so calm. He was, and is, a true pro.
After informing her his parents were, in fact, both black, he laughed gamely, and desperately tried to shut Miriam up/move the conversation on.
Co-host Christine Lampard, meanwhile, looked like she had left her body.
With a rictus grin, this was a woman witnessing car-crash TV in real time.
She didn’t have the first clue of how to steer the ricocheting trio away from danger, and instead sat there, mute. But who could blame her?
Say the wrong thing as a white, straight, middle- class woman and that’s her cancelled. No more cushty daytime numbers for Mrs Lampard. Unlike our Miriam.
On Sunday night, Miriam went on to dig herself in even deeper by insulting disabled people, too.
During an audience event to promote her memoir, Miriam’s Full English, she mused: “How do black people feel? How do brown people feel? How do cripples feel? How do fat people feel?”
The actress insisted she “didn’t want to embarrass or hurt Andi because he seems very nice”.
She is a woman seemingly incapable of cancellation. This, though, is because she is a darling of the Left.
And don’t get me wrong, she can be brilliant and irreverent.
As an 85-year-old Jewish lesbian, she’s long been regarded as a charming and quirky luvvie, one who plays up to being unfiltered.
But there is absolutely nothing loving about hate speech.
In 2020, after Boris Johnson fought for his life in hospital with Covid, she quipped she had “wanted him to die”.
Two years later, she appeared on BBC Radio 4’s Today programme after former Chancellor Jeremy Hunt.
She told listeners: “When I saw him there, I just said, ‘What a hell of a job, the best of luck’.
“And what I really wanted to say was, ‘F*** you, b****rd’, but you can’t say that.”
Except you can if Miriam because being left-wing and eccentric is somehow OK.
Imagine, say, Piers Morgan, Boris J or JK Rowling describing someone as “high yalla”. Game over, chaps, collect your metaphorical P45s.
This is not the first time, either, that Miriam has courted controversy with comments concerning race.
In 2012 the internet went into overdrive when she met will.i.am on the Graham Norton Show, claiming she was “fascinated” by him.
“Unfortunately, I don’t know many black people,” she added.
“We don’t get to meet across the colour line much except in showbusiness and that’s what’s so nice.”
While briefly speechless, the rapper took her comments well, and the pair struck up a genuine rapport.
But viewers were less impressed.
Do I think Miriam is racist? No. But, unquestionably, she has used racist language and that is unacceptable.
Ultimately this is a smart, independent woman who studied at Cambridge.
Ignorance is no excuse and neither is age. She’s had decades to self-check and revise her behaviour. But no.
I do not believe in cancel culture, rape, murder, et al aside. But I do believe the Harry Potter star should have been sent on several human resources courses by now.
Because, in short, Professor Sprout spouts dehumanising nonsense, time and time again. And gets away with it. Time and time again.
Pamela’s natural beauty is plain to see
10
10
I AM absolutely here for feminism. Go, ladies! Yay, Simone de Beauvoir! Woohooo, Emmeline P! etc.
I’d also quite happily go on hunger strike for a couple of hours, or chain myself to a railing for a bit, should the UK, say, go back in time.
But not wearing any make-up? Absolutely not. Plus, trust me, no one wants to see that.
So, kudos to Pamela Anderson, who continues apace with her bare-faced policy – rejecting the “prison” of vanity and, apparently, embracing self-acceptance.
It is also a tribute to her late make-up artist, which is genuinely touching.
The 59-year-old went au naturel in Venice on Sunday for the annual amfAR gala, and still managed to look suitably glam.
As I say, I applaud such a lack of narcissism.
It’s just not for me.
IT’S A MISS STORY
10
CAN someone please explain why so many female teachers are having sex with teenage boys, please?
Why? What in God’s name is wrong with them?
Last week we had former chemistry teacher Sally-Anne Bowen found guilty of indecently assaulting two teenage pupils in the late Eighties.
This comes days after a former teacher, Emily Drury, was jailed for four and a half years after admitting having sex with a teenage boy.
It used to be mainly male teachers who preyed on kids. This is grim beyond belief.
Meme of the week
10
NOTES BORE
AS the Government finesses its social media ban for under-16s, perhaps it could take a look at WhatsApp governance, too.
Starting with an outright ban of any voice note over four minutes.
Last week my pal Danielle sent me an aural missive lasting 15 minutes!!!! and 56 seconds. People run 5k quicker.
It took me four days to even summon up the energy to start listening, and three attempts to get through.
If I want to listen to a podcast, I shall.
These self-indulgent, endless voice notes need outlawing.
THAT SINKING FEELING
10
10
10
10
ONE for the millennials and Gen Xers, this.
And sorry, your day may go rapidly downhill from here on in.
You are now older than Stifler’s Mom – she was only 38 in the first American Pie.
The Spice Girls released Wannabe 30 years ago. Ditto Peter Andre and Mysterious Girl. Mr Brightside came out almost quarter of a century ago.
The Teletubbies baby is now in her mid-thirties. Titanic was screened 29 years ago.
Ant and Dec have been hosting I’m A Celeb for 24 years. Friends ended 22 years ago.
The Nokia 3310 phone is 26. Woolworths vanished from our high streets 17 years ago.
And people who were born at the millennium are 25 years old, almost 26. Soz.
MEANWHILE, “Gen Z versus boomers – who drinks the most?”, was the headline on the front page of the Times last week. Is that really a question?