You be the judge: should my son finish bottles and packets before opening new ones?
Jasper stands accused of being wasteful but feels aggrieved that Mindy says he’s being lazy. Is this a race to the bottom? You decide
Find out how to get a disagreement settled or become a juror
The prosecution: Mindy
Opening new products when old ones aren’t empty is wasteful – and he does it to avoid cleaning up
My son Jasper, who is 21, has a very annoying habit: he loves to leave the last bit in every bottle, jar and box. There are bottles of ketchup, shampoo and face cream, all with a tiny amount in, left around the house.
Jasper thinks that by not finishing off the last of something he is doing me and his father, Dave, a favour. I find it annoying as I’m the one who then washes the bottles and takes them out to the recycling. He’s shirking the responsibility of disposing of them himself. Jasper says: “I left the last bit for you.” But it’s just laziness.
At dinner, Jasper will get a new bottle of sauce out of the fridge instead of finishing off the one with a tiny bit left. He loves opening a new packet or a new bottle. He does the same with cereal – he’ll leave tiny crumbs in the bottom and open a new box. He also leaves the heel of the bread.
I’ve tried explaining to him that leaving such a small amount of anything isn’t actually generous, but I know that’s not the real reason he does it. He just likes everything to be fresh and new. I don’t like the idea of opening a new packet or bottle of something if there’s still some of the old one left. I find it wasteful. I’d rather he used it up, rinsed the bottle and put it in the recycling, instead of leaving it for someone else to deal with. The little scraps left everywhere drive me absolutely potty.
Jasper’s habits create more work for me. He gets to feel as though he has been good, while I’m the one finishing things and disposing of the containers. If I don’t do it, we end up with several versions of the same product cluttering up the cupboards and fridge.
Dave thinks I should just let it go and Jasper thinks I’m being fussy. He says I can just throw things away or use them myself, but I don’t want it to become my job. Sometimes Jasper helps with the recycling, but he could do more chores. I think that if you finish something, or get close enough that nobody else can reasonably use it, you should take responsibility for getting rid of the container, too.
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The defence: Jasper
If I want fresh cereal or enough sauce for my dinner, I’m always going to open a new container
I think Mum is making me sound more calculating than I am. I’m not deliberately leaving tiny amounts of things because I want her to clean up after me. I don’t like using the last bit of something, especially when there’s a new one available.
If there are two bottles of ketchup in the fridge and one has been squeezed to death, I don’t want to spend five minutes trying to get the last drop out when there’s a full bottle next to it. It doesn’t make much difference whether we use the last bit or not. Either way, that new bottle is going to get opened.
I sometimes say: “I left the last bit for you,” but I’m partially joking. Mum acts like I’ve left her some enormous task, but all she has to do is either use it or throw it away. I don’t think rinsing out a ketchup bottle is a major chore.
Sometimes I think a bottle is empty, whereas Mum can see there’s still something in there. But often, with things like ketchup or hot sauce, there isn’t enough to go with my dinner, so I’d rather open a new jar or bottle. If I threw away shampoo or face cream containers that still had some left, Mum would probably tell me I was being wasteful. It feels as if I can’t win.
She is right that I like opening new things. Fresh bread is obviously nicer than the last crust, and I’d rather have cereal from a new box than eat the crumbs at the bottom of an old one. I don’t think that makes me selfish.
I do understand her point about clutter. If I open a new bottle when there’s still an old one, I can see how we end up with lots of nearly empty containers. I could be better at throwing things away and recycling. But I think Mum could also stop treating every almost empty container as evidence that I’m lazy.
Obviously I should clean up after myself, but we all have habits that annoy the people we live with. I’ll make more of an effort to finish nearly empty containers or throw them away. But if I want a fresh box of cereal or enough sauce for my dinner, I’m always going to open a new one.
Names have been changed
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The jury of Guardian readers
Who could criticise Jasper for opening new ketchup if he had helpfully rinsed and recycled the old bottle? I empathise with his need for enough sauce with dinner, but he is shirking the chore here and needs to recognise that there are some jobs no one likes to do.
Lois, 31
If it’s such a small job, Jasper, why don’t you do it yourself? Time to grow up. That said, Mindy can solve this problem by not providing so much – if there’s no fresh ketchup until the old bottle is washed, he’ll soon learn what’s worth the squeeze.
Neil, 34
Maybe it is a generational thing – I was taught to squeeze the last toothpaste out of the tube. But Mindy is correct, if he’s part-finished it and left it, he should also dispose of it.
John, 70
Washing out jars and emptying cereal crumbs before putting the containers in the recycling bin may be a pain, but why should Mindy do it all the time? Why doesn’t Jasper recycle them and then open a new pack?
Margaret, 73
How many nearly empty bottles would Jasper leave cluttering up the fridge if Mindy didn’t step in? In the name of reducing household mess and food waste, Jasper needs to clean up his act.
Noa, 32
Now you be the judge
In our online poll, tell us: should Jasper finish things off and clean up his act?
The poll closes on Wednesday 16 September at 9am BST
Last week’s results
We asked whether Robin should stop letting the recycling pile up.
94% of you said yes – Robin is guilty
6% of you said no – Robin is not guilty
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