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Callum Forbes’ last memory before his Sydney partner allegedly tried to kill him in a French chateau was taking a sleeping pill after an exhausting day in the Loire Valley mulling their 3½-year relationship.
It was two days after David Cao had first allegedly used violence against him. The 37-year-old stole Forbes’ passport and left him bloody and bruised while the couple holidayed in Barcelona. The pair were on a weeks-long European getaway that began in Venice and was to culminate at World Pride celebration in Amsterdam in late July.
Forbes resolved to leave Cao after the incident, a sentiment he made clear to his partner as they travelled from Barcelona to the Loire Valley in central France.
Cao, who was working at ING after heading up Westpac’s diversity, equity and inclusion program, spent much of the four-hour drive between Bordeaux and the luxury Chateau de Perreux hotel, hoping to change Forbes’ mind. The Sydney entrepreneur passively resisted his partner’s pleas.
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Forbes, 36, fell asleep about 10.30pm on July 28. He woke in terror moments later. Cao allegedly bashed him over the head with a hot saucepan and poured boiling water across his body in an attack Forbes estimated to have lasted about 20 minutes.
“I immediately ran to the door to try and get out, [but] he’d locked the door and taken the key out,” Forbes said in an interview in his Sydney apartment.
“I was trying to open the door so much that the door handle broke off. He’d followed me down a corridor, and then continued hitting me and hitting me with his saucepan.
“He was saying, ‘You don’t love me, right?’ I honestly thought I was going to die.”
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Forbes was so desperate to survive Cao’s onslaught that he offered to marry him while he was being assaulted.
Forbes claimed Cao yelled that his “life was ruined” as hotel staff and guests surrounded their room after hearing screams.
Then he began mopping up his blood from the floor to try to settle his partner.
“I grabbed a towel from the bathroom to try and wipe up the blood, but it did nothing,” he said. “I ended up in the shower to try and wash the blood off me again … but then when I got out of the shower, he started hitting me again.”
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Forbes survived the attack by locking himself in the bathroom. He re-emerged only when a housekeeper knocked on the door.
Cao fled the scene, sparking a 36-hour manhunt that led authorities to the French city of Lille on the Belgian border, almost 500 kilometres from the Loire Valley.
Cao was charged with Forbes’ attempted murder and remains in a French prison while he awaits trial. The trial is expected to begin next year.
French publication La Nouvelle Republique reported that Cao admitted to the attack but not intending to kill his partner, citing a source close to the investigation.
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Forbes spent almost three weeks in a regional French hospital before returning to Sydney with his mother to continue his recovery.
His skin has improved drastically in the five weeks since the attack. He’s been told to avoid direct sun exposure for the next 18 months and moisturise three times a day.
The scars on Forbes’ head where he was hit with the saucepan are visible, and hearing in his ear has been significantly reduced due to injuries suffered in the attack. Now he’s grappling with the psychological trauma of it all.
Forbes, who operates an online telehealth business, hasn’t returned to work and spends much of his days at medical appointments. He has been overwhelmed by support from friends and family, who he credits with spurring his rehabilitation.
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“All of those [messages] were coming in while I was still in hospital,” he said. “For me in hospital, when I just had Mum there [supporting me]. That meant the world to me.”
If you or someone you know needs help, phone Lifeline on 13 11 14, beyondblue on 1300 22 4636, or 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732).
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Daniel Lo Surdo is a breaking news reporter for The Sydney Morning Herald. He previously helmed the national news live blog for The Sydney Morning Herald and The Age.Connect via email.AdvertisementAdvertisement