A man alleged to have choked and hit his wife before pouring cooking oil on her and trying to set her on fire has sworn to stay away from their home for three years.
He gave the sworn undertaking to the emergency domestic violence court at Dolphin House, Dublin, on Friday, when the woman’s application for a three-year barring order was before the court.
Last month, she obtained an interim barring order ex parte (one side only represented) after a recent incident in which she alleged her husband choked and hit her, and then poured cooking oil over her and tried to set her on fire. She was “black and blue”, the woman said.
They were in a relationship for many years before marrying about 10 years ago and his behaviour had become aggressive over the past three to four years, the court was told.
That included shouting and roaring at her and following her into her bedroom “keeping at me”, she said. He has a separate bedroom but waits until she falls asleep and “sneaks into” her room, she said.
On Friday, Judge Gerard Furlong was told by lawyers for the parties an agreement had been reached. Instead of receiving a barring order, the man undertook to stay away from the family home for three years unless expressly invited by his wife, via text, to return.
He also undertook to take his name off the local authority tenancy related to the family home.
The judge accepted the undertakings in lieu of court orders.
In another case, a woman said when she answered a recent video call from her ex-partner, “He was holding a gun and threatening to kill me”.
“I got an awful fright because he has a key to my house,” she said. She phoned gardaí who got a warrant to search his house but, when they raided it, they did not find a gun, she said.
She lives with their young children in her house and he has nothing to do with that property, she said. The judge granted a protection order, saying he was doing so “without hesitation”.
In a different case, a woman who came into court using a walking aid got a protection order against her adult son, aged in his 40s. He is violent with her and her partner and, during a recent incident, spat at her and “went to break my fingers”, she said.
While she was being taken to hospital following a heart attack, her son beat her partner up, she said. “I cannot take any more fights.”
Her son has always lived at home, she said. “I am a maid, not his mother.”
She wanted the protection order “to have something there if he lost it again”.
Another mother got a protection order against her adult son, aged in his 30s.
He is addicted to cocaine and alcohol and verbally abuses her almost daily, she said. “I might get a few days reprieve but it doesn’t last long. I am at breaking point, I don’t want to put him on the street but I want something in place that, if I put him out, he will stay out.”
She has called gardaí several times over his behaviour. They take him away and he returns saying he will behave, she said. That is, “until the next time”.
Becoming upset, she said: “It is very hard to see him like that when I know he is worth so much more. I’ve offered him help numerous times but he pushes me away.”
Saying he was sorry the woman is going through that, the judge granted the protection order.
In a different case, a man said he is sleeping in his car since his wife got an ex parte interim barring order against him last month. He will be homeless if the court grants a full order, he said.
The matter was before the court for a full hearing of the woman’s application for a three-year barring order with both parties represented. The man initially told the judge he did not want “to fight it any more” or “to put her through it”.
He has mental health issues and his wife is his carer, he said. “I’d like to go home.”
Furlong told the man the matter was previously adjourned so he could get legal advice and noted that if he did not contest the application, the order would be granted.
The man said he had tried to get a solicitor but had been unable to.
When the man said “I don’t have any place to go”, the judge said he was sorry about that but that is usually the case for those in his situation given the present housing circumstances.
After the judge asked would the woman agree to a lesser barring order, her counsel indicated she was prepared to accept a two-year order.
After further exchanges, the man said he wished the case to proceed. The judge adjourned it for hearing on a date in late September, saying that would allow the man a final opportunity to obtain legal advice.