CHATTING away at the school gates, mums Alice* and Sophie* look like any other friends, passing time while they wait to pick up their kids.
However there’s a lot more to it than meets the eye – as the pair then head home together, where Alice and her husband James*, both 36 and from Leeds, and single Sophie will all have sex together, while their kids sleep.
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Welcome to the world of the “throuple” – three-way unions that are very much on the rise.
Just a few years ago, many people would have been unfamiliar with terms such as “throuple” or “polyamory”.
Now, however, the concept of being in a relationship with more than one person has firmly entered the mainstream narrative.
Former boxer David Haye hit the headlines for suggesting he was in a throuple with girlfriend Sian Osborne and Una Healy from The Saturdays (though Una claims this was not the case).
And it’s making its way on to the big screen, too, as seen in the summer’s comedy-drama The Invite, starring Olivia Wilde and Seth Rogen.
A recent YouGov study into polyamory asked: “Have you ever been, or do you think you could ever be, in a polyamorous relationship?”
In January 2026, 7 per cent of 18-24 year olds said yes, up from just 1 per cent in July 2025. Among 50-64 year olds, 8 per cent of those asked replied: “No, but I would be open to it,” up from 6 per cent in 2024.
Meanwhile, on Instagram and TikTok, there are around 152,000 posts using the hashtag #Throuple.
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Lulu Sunnucks is a clinical sexologist and psychotherapist who’s seen a growing interest in non-monogamy, particularly throuples, in the UK.
She says there are a few factors fuelling the trend.
“Social media and apps like Feeld – a dating app used to explore non-monogamy – have helped normalise and destigmatise the conversation and make it easier to find like-minded partners,” she explains.
“There’s also a generational shift, particularly among younger people who are questioning the idea that monogamy is the only ‘successful’ relationship structure.”
Lisa Scott, 43, a nurse from Canada, became part of a throuple with Annabelle* and her husband Jon* in 2022, after swiping right on Tinder. But love and long-term commitment with a married couple were initially the furthest thing from her mind.
Married at 19, Lisa and her husband split in 2019 after 18 years of marriage, and it was after that she had her first experience with two people at a swingers’ party.
“I’d wanted to try a threesome with another woman. I had wondered if I was bisexual or even a lesbian, and suggested exploring this to my former husband during our marriage, but he refused.
“Once we split, I got involved with two different couples,” she says.
“That made me a ‘unicorn’ – a single bisexual woman who sleeps with both sexes and dates couples.
“It felt like a way to have fun while looking for a partner who’d be open to a non-monogamous lifestyle, which I wanted.”
Swiping right for Annabelle, now 47, and Jon, 50, who’d been married for 20 years, Lisa was drawn to how connected the two of them seemed.
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“We had two weeks of text messages and phone chats, in which they explained they were looking for someone to date together, making it essential they both connected with me.
“Then, after full sexual health checks, I drove two hours to Buffalo – a mid-point between my home and theirs in Pennsylvania – for our first date,” says Lisa.
“As far as I knew, they’d gone on dates with other people, but hadn’t actually been intimate with anyone else or been in a throuple before.”
The chemistry between the three of them was instant, and the sex was, Lisa says, “amazing”.
Despite her plan for it to be just a bit of fun, she soon found herself developing feelings for Jon and Annabelle.
However, unsurprisingly with such a complex dynamic, cracks began to appear, with Lisa experiencing what’s known in non-monogamy circles as “couple privilege” – when the established couple holds more power than the single third person.
“Annabelle and Jon, who are both amazing and caring people, didn’t even realise it was happening,” she says.
“They’d tell me their plans for the three of us, like what we’d be doing on my next visit, and I’d wonder: ‘Have you ever stopped to think that I have my own life, that I shouldn’t just have to just fit into yours?’”
So, four months into the relationship, Lisa made the decision to end things.
“I was devastated. I loved them both, but couldn’t find a way to explain how I was feeling or know how we could fix it and move forward,” she says.
Six weeks later, Annabelle came to visit, and the second Lisa saw her, any anger disappeared.
“We both knew there was something special between us and wanted to try again.”
The trio resolved to work on their individual connections with each other to make the relationship more equal, but it wasn’t straightforward.
“I clicked with Jon immediately,” says Lisa.
“He was incredibly smart, and we talked for hours about everything, from sport and history to politics.
“But with Annabelle and I, who were both newbies to lesbianism, it was trickier.
“I had sex with both of them alone, as well as together, and while I had been with enough women to know the basics it was still very new to me, and to Annabelle.
“We needed time to feel comfortable with each other.”
Lisa says Annabelle struggled with jealousy over her bond with her husband, which doesn’t surprise psychotherapist Lulu.
“One of the biggest challenges in a throuple is the fact that it isn’t really one relationship – it’s three overlapping ones, each with different history, attachment style and desire,” she says.
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In Alice and James’s case, they first met aged 19 and over the course of their relationship initially enjoyed occasional threesomes with like-minded friends when their two children, then 11 and six, were with their grandparents.
Alice explains: “It was fun and kept our sex life interesting.
“In 2019, I became friends with a single school mum, Sophie*, and could tell from her manner and the flirty messages we exchanged that she was sexually adventurous, too.
“We invited her over for dinner and drinks, and one thing led to another,” Alice says.
Soon, Alice and James developed feelings for Sophie, 42.
“That was totally unknown for us and we were both worried how it would impact our relationship.
“What if Sophie liked James more than me, or me more than James? Also, she was sleeping with other people, too, and we didn’t want to lose her.”
The couple were honest with Sophie, and after sharing how they all felt, the three decided to commit to being in a monogamous throuple.
While they kept their own homes, the threesome would spend most nights in Alice and James’ big bed, while the children, who were all sleeping over, accepted the explanation that “sometimes you fall in love with one person, and sometimes it’s two”.
“I wasn’t worried about the kids telling people, but I was worried other children would bully them. Thankfully, that didn’t happen. I could tell that other mums were gossiping, but I never cared.
“I honestly felt like I had it all: a man who was very protective and who liked to provide, and a woman who was very affectionate and loving. I had the best bits from both of them,” says Alice.
However, Alice is keen to stress it wasn’t just about sex.
“It was like any normal relationship, with dates to the cinema, walks with the kids and cosy evenings on the sofa,” she says.
As for reactions from family members, they were mixed.
Sophie’s parents, who are “hippies”, were very relaxed about it, while Alice’s dad also accepted the situation. James’ parents were not comfortable with the throuple, though.
“We had put off telling them for months, knowing that they wouldn’t understand, and once they knew, we didn’t see them any more, as they didn’t approve,” says Alice.
In early 2020, when they’d been a throuple for 16 months, Alice discovered she was pregnant.
“It wasn’t planned, but it ended up being a blissful pregnancy because of our relationship.
“Sophie was so nurturing, running me baths and taking over in the house when I was tired. It was like having a wife while I still had a husband.”
Alice and James’ daughter Elise was born in December 2020 at home, with Sophie also present, and the following summer the three celebrated their relationship with a handfasting ceremony.
Wedded throuple bliss only lasted a year, though.
“James and I sensed that Sophie wasn’t happy. She began spending more time in her own home and, instead of cuddling up with us and the baby on the sofa, began suggesting big nights out.
“Finally, she opened up. Through tears, she explained she now wanted a one-to-one relationship, to be with someone who was just for her.
“James and I were happy to be at home with the baby, and Sophie wanted to be out more, having fun. Also, I think she’d realised that she needed to be with one person, someone she didn’t have to share with someone else.”
Sad that their throuple was ending, but wanting only the best for Sophie, Alice and James knew they needed to let her go.
“Sophie is still godmother to our daughter. We’re family and always will be.
“She has a new partner now who we get on brilliantly with. It was an amazing, loving journey together and I don’t have any regrets.
“Since then we’ve had some threesomes with men and women but only sex, no commitment.”
As for Lisa, Annabelle and Jon, with communication, they worked through the early bumps and are now thriving.
“We spend almost every weekend and holiday together,” says Lisa. “We live two hours’ drive apart, which is hard, and we’d like to live together one day, but for now that just isn’t practical.
“People think a throuple is all about sex, that as a unicorn I’m just there for the couple’s pleasure, or that Jon is making Annabelle do this.
“That couldn’t be further from the truth. I want the world to know I’m loved, supported and encouraged by two amazing people.
“I’m not surprised throuples have gone mainstream. What woman wouldn’t want that?”