Wild weekend in the country that finally convinced me to ditch older men and get myself a VERY adventurous toyboy

“NO, don’t walk to me, crawl to me,” demands Erika, Olivia Wilde’s character in her X-rated new film I Want Your Sex.

The film follows Erika, a glamorous sexual vamp in her 40s, who seduces her 23-year-old assistant, Elliot (Cooper Hoffman).

Bored with his Gen Z girlfriend, Minerva (Charli XCX) – who apparently prefers studying to sex – Elliot willingly becomes Erika’s sexual muse.

Erika isn’t interested in strings attached. She prefers whips – and takes him on a journey of sexual awakening, power play and BDSM.

As I watched the film – which has just dropped in the UK – I couldn’t help but smile.

Because, like Erika, I’ve enjoyed a few age-gap relationships myself. And, yes, plenty of kinky sex along the way.

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Men my own age – or older – often come with baggage, responsibilities and a lifetime of complications.

Younger men? They come with adventure, spontaneity and a sense of escapism.

When I don’t have my kids at the weekend, the last thing I want to do is embark on a round of soft play with somebody else’s children.

I know this because my last serious relationship was with a single dad-of-two.

His diary was dictated by his ex, his children and an endless game of calendar Tetris.

Of course, his kids came first – rightly so. But when I didn’t have my own kids, I didn’t want to spend my precious free time looking after somebody else’s.

As lovely as his kids were, I wanted adventure. I wanted escapism.

I wanted to remember that I was a woman – not just Mum. That’s where younger men come in.

They tend to have more time to actually spend with you. You can call them at the last minute and say: “Fancy coming here this weekend?”

And suddenly, you’re packing the sexy lingerie while he turns up with a paddle and a bottle of champagne. Perfect.

For a few glorious nights, you can switch off your phone, forget the school run, ignore the laundry pile and temporarily abandon the pressures of grown-up life.

You’re not Mum. You’re not somebody’s responsible partner. You’re just you – and it’s fun.

They’re often up for trying new things, in and out of the bedroom.

The best part? No nagging ex-wife is ringing every five minutes demanding to know their plans for next Tuesday.

The last time I saw Tom*, 29, he booked a hotel in the Cotswolds.

We turned off our phones – and turned each other on. Younger guys are eager to please; they take time making sure you come first, ahem.

We spent the whole weekend experimenting with BDSM and laughed when a member of the hotel staff almost walked in on us in a rather compromising position.

Right now, I don’t want someone moving in and taking on the stepdad role with my kids.

My children and I love our little bubble. We bake together, paint together, curl up on the sofa and watch films. It’s cosy, chaotic and completely ours – and I wouldn’t change it.

What I love about dating younger men is that I don’t have to merge those two worlds.

When I’m with my kids, I can be a mum.

And when they’re with their dad, I can switch off. I can put on sexy underwear, have wild sex and feel like a carefree woman in her twenties again.

As I hurtle towards 40, I have to admit I’m feeling rather smug about my sex life.

While some of my married friends complain that their libido has disappeared somewhere between the mortgage, the school run and the weekly supermarket shop, mine has never been higher.

The reason? Younger men. In fact, snagging a toyboy has become one of the biggest dating trends of 2026 among midlife women.

Research suggests women with partners at least seven years younger report higher sexual satisfaction – and even fewer menopausal symptoms – than those with partners their own age or older.

And experts say women often reach their sexual peak in their 40s. I can believe it.

By this stage, we know our bodies inside out. We know what we like. We know what we absolutely do NOT like. What’s more, a whopping 75 per cent of middle-aged women reported that sex was moderately or extremely important to them, according to a study published in the journal Menopause last year – proving sexual desire remains strong from our early 40s to late 50s.

And, crucially, we’re no longer prepared to lie there politely pretending mediocre sex is good enough.

Hollywood has clearly cottoned on, too. In recent years, we’ve seen a string of films exploring relationships between older women and younger men.

In Babygirl, Nicole Kidman’s character becomes embroiled in a provocative relationship with her younger intern, and the film became a major hit.

Meanwhile, The Idea of You, with 40-year-old mum Solène (Anne Hathaway) sparks up a romance with 24-year-old pop star Hayes (Nicholas Galitzine).

But this isn’t simply fantasy cooked up by Hollywood. The older-woman, younger-man relationship is becoming increasingly normal in real life, too.

And these days, it’s often the woman who is older – rather than the man, as tradition would have it.

Take Sienna Miller, 44, who welcomed her second child in May with actor and model Oli Green, 29 – 15 years her junior. Not that you’d know that by looking at them!

Then there’s popstar Ellie Goulding, 39, and actor Beau Minniear, 28, who welcomed their first daughter together, Iris Edaline, in March this year. Nobody seems particularly shocked. And why should they be?

For decades, older men dating younger women has been so normalised that nobody bats an eyelid.

Yet give a woman a younger man and suddenly people reach for the word “cougar”. But this derogatory term is becoming outdated as we’re living in an increasingly ageless society.

Women aren’t being written off at 35 anymore. They’re feeling – and looking better – than ever. They’re dating, having children, changing careers, travelling, partying – and, yes, having great sex – well into their 40s, 50s, 60s and beyond.

Just look at Elizabeth Hurley, 61, and Jennifer Lopez, 57. These women aren’t exactly fading quietly into the background. Yes, they’re getting older – but they’re seemingly having more fun while they’re at it.

Even motherhood is changing. Having children in your late 30s or 40s is no longer the rarity it once was, making relationships between women and younger men increasingly practical as well as sexy.

So perhaps we need to retire the word “toyboy”. Because there’s nothing particularly juvenile about a woman choosing a younger man. And, in my experience, younger men love older women.

I met a handsome 24-year-old farmer the other day who flat-out refused to believe I was 39. I had to get my ID out to prove it. And when he finally saw it, I expected him to look disappointed. Quite the opposite.

He grinned and said, excitedly: “I want to see you even more now.”

He found me on Instagram afterwards and has been bombarding me with messages ever since – promising he’ll drive to me, take me out for dinner and keeps telling me I can do “whatever I want with him”.

He may come to regret that last sentiment!

I’m not sure if I’ll take him up on his offer yet, but it did make me think. Maybe younger men aren’t intimidated by older women. Maybe they’re intrigued by us. We know who we are, what we like and – perhaps most importantly – what we won’t put up with.

So, as I approach 40, I’m not worried about ageing out of the dating game.