Loneliness: There’s a reason why we use the term ‘power of connection’

Meaningful and authentic relationships are said to be the thing that keeps us going. A life extender, if you will.

We understand that loneliness can be a killer; the research has delivered on that with strong links between the quality of our social relationships and health outcomes. The poorer our connections, the greater the risk for mental health concerns, chronic disease, possibly even early death.

There’s a reason why we use the term “Power of Connection”.

Within strong connections and relationships, we develop a sense of purpose, of belonging and feeling emotionally supported. That power comes in knowing that we are a part of something, but our social health is more nuanced than that, making it difficult to not only support but recognise when it is lacking.

Loneliness, social isolation and social anxiety are societal problems and researchers have spent years trying to determine what contributes to and impacts these concepts, given the varied scope on an individual basis. When we look towards supporting our social health, we can first look at our connections and relationships, their quality, value and effect.

According to Haim-Litevsky and colleagues in the 2023 paper Sense of Belonging, Meaningful Daily Life Participation, and Well-Being, high-quality relationships that meet our diverse needs for meaningful and supportive connection with others provide a sense of kinship and belonging. This means our social health is supported through the quality and not the quantity of our connections. It does not come down to how often we meet others, but the depth of that emotional and social connection.

As social health is nuanced, varied and multifaceted – all of which impacts wellbeing and physical health in different ways – building awareness of the kinds of relationships we have is vital to building strong social supports. Researchers are continually making efforts to understand these dimensions, but we as individuals should take strides to participate in the basic human need of connecting with others, building reciprocal, supportive relationships.

A great example of which is Men’s Sheds.

“Social connection is at the heart of the Men’s Shed model,” says Maurice O’Driscoll, operations manager of the Irish Men’s Sheds Association. “While many people associate Men’s Sheds with woodworking, gardening, restoration projects or other practical activities, the activity itself is often secondary to the social aspect. The real value is that men are coming together regularly, forming friendships, sharing experiences, learning from one another and maintaining a sense of purpose and belonging.”

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While the average age of a man attending a Men’s Shed is 69, they are open to men over the age of 18, with 484 sheds operating in the Republic. At least 10,000 men attend sheds each week. O’Driscoll says these connections are particularly important as men move through big life transitions such as retirement, bereavement, redundancy, the empty nest, caring responsibilities, or changes in their health.

“These transitions can often reduce the number of regular social interactions a person has,” he says. “A Men’s Shed provides somewhere to go, something to do and, importantly, people who notice when you are there and when you are not.”

“Since Covid-19, there has been a shift in the activity focus of sheds,” says Enda Egan, chief executive officer of the Irish Men’s Sheds Association. “Prior to the pandemic, sheds would have been predominantly focused on workshop activity, but since the pandemic the focus has changed to social activities. Anecdotally, this would appear to be associated with a much greater awareness of the importance of social connection within society and its benefits to health.

“And according to WHO [World Health Organisation] research, happier people live longer. A key component within happiness is connection and a sense of belonging. While, generally speaking, there are many power tools in sheds and men often spend hours of conversation debating which brand is the best – DeWalt, Milwaukee, Makita, etc – there is no debating that the kettle is the most important tool in the shed.”

Birr Men Together Men’s Shed began as a byproduct of the Covid-19 pandemic. A number of participants had completed a 12-week MenPower programme and continued to meet regularly, resulting in the establishment of a rejuvenated Men’s Shed in Birr. Organised by Declan Costello and Offaly Local Development Company, a committee was formed and the group registered with the Irish Men’s Sheds Association.

“The next task was to source premises in order to hold our weekly meetings,” says Jimmy Shortt, chairman of Birr Men Together Men’s Shed. “With this in place, it was then time to get the word out and as a result membership gradually began to increase and we have now gone from strength to strength. From day one it was decided, in our case, to follow the path of a purely social group and we find this suits our needs completely.”

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Recently interviewed for RTÉ Radio 1’s Countrywide programme, the Birr group has grown into a supportive, almost family-like unit where members have built helpful bonds with each other, where they can talk and, more importantly, feel listened to.

“Although our group is open to men from 18 years of age upwards, we have noticed that it is the period of time following retirement that men need support the most,” says Shortt. “By joining a Men’s Shed or any such community group, it helps to keep not only the brain active but the body as well and hopefully enhance future wellbeing and longevity.”

O’Driscoll says the Men’s Shed model works because it is fundamentally community-led. “We are not trying to turn sheds into clinics, training centres or formal social services,” he says. “Their strength comes from remaining places where men voluntarily choose to spend time together. Health and wellbeing then develop around that environment.

“A man may tell you that he joined because he wanted access to a woodworking workshop. Another might say he came because his wife told him he needed to get out of the house. Someone else may have recently retired, moved into the area or lost a partner. Six months later, the reason they continue attending is very often the people. That is why social connection should not be regarded as an optional extra in discussions about men’s health.”

Considered the “neglected third pillar” in the Lancet in 2025, social health continues to be a global “under-recognised public health issue” despite repeated calls from researchers, working groups and policymakers to resolve the epidemic of loneliness and social isolation. The impacts are well documented, from an individual basis to societal and economic concerns. Social connection is necessary for people, communities and societies to survive and thrive.

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Men’s Sheds are one example of why connection is needed and how it can be encouraged, supported and advocated for. There are indeed other organisations creating similar connections. But for individuals outside of core groups, remember your social health is important and should not be dismissed because it can’t be nursed with a Band-Aid.

Build meaningful, appropriate relationships, compromise yet set personal boundaries, and embrace empathy for yourself and others.

As Shortt reminds us: “As they say, no man is an island.”